Things You'll Need

· Garden hose and bucket
· Name brand motorcycle cleaner/detergent
· Soft car wash Mitt
· Nonabrasive cloth (Terry cloth)
· Chamois cloth

Instructions

1. Prepare a bucket of diluted motorcycle cleaner/detergent, never use laundry detergent. Have this bucket ready before you start the process.

2. Rinse the entire bike using a garden hose. Work from the top of the motorcycle to the bottom of the motorcycle.

3. Wash everything using either a soft car wash Mitt or nonabrasive cloth. Start with the front end and then do one side of the bike and then the other side of the bike. If it's drying too fast and starting to spot, keep those completed areas wet using the hose.

4. Rinse the entire motorcycle thoroughly making sure to rinse away all of the detergent.

5. Dry the bike using a chamois cloth or other nonabrasive cloth. Make sure to get all the nooks and crannies completely dry.

6. Take your motorcycle for a short ride to finish drying everything. Don't forget to be careful because your brakes and pads will still be wet.

Tips & Warnings

· Make sure that your motorcycle (engine) is cool before you start cleaning it.
· Select a location that is in the shade and out of direct sunlight to avoid spotting.
· Never use laundry detergent, it is too abrasive and may damage your paint.
· Do not use any high-pressure nozzles to avoid getting any water pass the seals on your motorcycle.
· After you have washed and dried your motorcycle, it is now ready for detailing (wax, chrome, Plexiglas and tires).

Technorati Tags: motorcycle, rider, basics, Harley, cruiser, biker, senior, old-timer, geezer, boomer, safety, gear, tips, mistakes, how-to

Okay now that that’s out of the way, here’s what happened. I had finished getting gas when California Highway Patrol Motorcycle Officer pulled in and parked next to me on his BMW, outfitted with all the police goodies. I suddenly had a dilemma. My '06 wide glide has essentially straight pipes. Actually I have replaced the screaming Eagle exhaust pipes with Thunder City baffles which is simply a flat fender washer welded inside the center of the baffle. They are really loud. (I like loud pipes, but that’s a conversation for another day.) In short, I was paranoid about starting up my motorcycle and leaving because I didn’t want to get an equipment violation of the loud pipes. so I struck up a conversation and here’s how it went.

We exchanged the “Hi, how's it going?” blah, blah, blah, and I asked him,

Q: So at the end of the day are you more of a motorcycle rider or a policeman?

A: Hmmm, that’s a tough one. Every day there’s so much going on that I never think about the motorcycle much. I just know that if I have a headache at the end of the day it was a real intense day. If I had any weather like hail or rain, I start thinking about the motorcycle. I guess I would have to say I’m a policeman first and a motorcycle rider second. I don’t ride on my off time but I do have a dirt bike at home and I go out once in a while on it.

Q: How about your safety gear? I see you have a three-quarter helmet, why not wear a full face helmet?

A; Actually I wouldn’t mind a full face helmet but that three-quarter helmet is department regulation. The CHP has done some studies on full face helmets and they are reluctant to standardize on a full face helmet based upon the public’s reaction to this helmet.

Q: Oh, OK, I get it. The CHP does not want the Robocop look?

A: Yes that’s it. have you seen (he mentions a nearby community Police Department) wearing full face helmets with the blue face shield? Those guys really have the Robocop look. but it’s more than just the look that the CHP is concerned about. The attitude is that an open face helmet allows better communication with the public in general.

Q: A motorcycle officer once told me that he defined an excellent rider as a rider who could do their whole shift and never put their feet on the ground. How do you define an excellent rider?

A: I define a excellent rider as one who does not fall down very often (He laughs.). Actually, we received refresher motorcycle rider training every 90 days. That refresher training tends to keep us really focused on what we are doing on the motorcycle.

He went on to tell me about a time when he fell, 15 years ago, at high speed, on the Los Angeles freeways. He said he was going really fast, about 85 mph, enroute to an emergency call, when he went down. He said he went down on the shoulder next to the center divider and somehow his motorcycle continued forward while he went over the divider and rolled in the fast Lane in the oncoming traffic. He rolled over a couple lanes without being hit and a tractor-trailer truck saw him and slammed on the brakes. The truck was in the middle of a jackknife stop as he rolled under the trailer. The only thing that hit him was a piece of metal under the trailer which smacked his helmet hard enough to crack it and knocked him unconscious. He ended up with a slight concussion but no other injuries. And as he told me this story I could see that he was reliving the crash as he told the story. It was quite dramatic.

Q: I changed the subject. I think I saw a woman motorcycle cop the other day. Do you have a female motorcycle policeman?

A: Yes we do. We have to in our department and I think down in LA they have 8 or 9 female motorcycle officers.

I could have stayed and talked to him for another couple hours but he got a radio call, gave me a smile,  jumped on his BMW and blasted off.

In this blog I write about equipment and rider safety. It is very hard for me to imagine trying to be a policeman on a motorcycle doing a policeman’s job. Like I said at the beginning of this post, I have an enormous amount of respect for these officers of the law.

You have seen bikes parked allover the place with the helmet either sitting on the seat or hanging from the handlebars. OK, problem solved, just leave your helmet on the bike and put your faith in human nature that it will still be there when you return.

We (us riders) all understand that no-one will want to steal a used helmet because savvy riders would never trust their skull to a helmet with unknown history. Maybe it has been dropped and the lining has cracked inside, rendering it dangerous when you need it the most. However, non-savvy riders and all others, either do not know about the cracked liner theory of they just do not give a darn. It is shiny, obviously expensive, looks cool and even if there is no street sale value, it would look good hanging on the wall, so it is at risk.

If you just cannot part with your helmet, lets go shopping for a backpack that will hold your helmet, leaving you hands free to enjoy the swap meet.

There are three (3) ways to secure your helmet, carry or backpack it with you, install a helmet lock or use a security cable. Let's take a look at the backpacks.

Shoei, Firstgear and Icon (Urban & Squad) backpacks, above, are three examples of helmet backpacks. There are a lot more out there and they will run you between $80 and $100.

I was looking at buying a backpack when I first started riding again. Not just for the helmet issue, but to use a backpack instead of saddlebags for my daily work commute. Gotta put your lunch somewhere, eh? And a couple of times I used my old hiking backpack to carry my helmet while I was walking around at the local swap meet. I didn't like it. Not your cup of tea either? I like riding to the cinema or shopping for the inherent motorcycle freedom, not to be saddled like a donkey, or worst yet, a goofball. OK, OK, just my opinion, whatever floats you boat is good with me.

So, we are back with leaving your helmet on the bike. How about locking it to the bike itself? At least it will keep the honest people from stealing your helmet.

Let look at some helmet locks. First of all, you may already have a helmet lock on you bike. If your bike is Japanese, it may have a lock. I had a Suzuki Intruder 1400 (Harley knock-off) which had two helmet locks, right and left side on the rear fender. Unfortunately, after I put on saddlebags, the locks ended up under the bags and were difficult to use.

Some bikes (like my 2003 Sportster) use a padlock on the front fork neck to lock the bike (the newer Harley's have built in locks) so you are already dealing with an extra lock every time you want to leave your bike somewhere. The hassle is not with locking the bike, it's carrying the lock around with you everywhere you go. The old style bikers usually lock it onto their Levis belt loop but if you are sporting a cell phone and the rest of the urban biker stuff, this is a pain.

However, if you have a lock and must use it, the easiest way to lock your helmet is to use a lock extension.

This is the M/C ENTERPRISES helmet lock extension #492. There are two (2) lock extensions (so you can lock two helmets, of course) in this kit. Simply stick one through the "D" rings and the other end goes on the padlock. You may be able to padlock directly to the "D" rings but usually, there is not enough room to get your helmet in close to the padlock. These extensions solve that problem. About $40 and you need to carry these extensions with you when you ride.

Next choice is add-on locks. There are two basic types, clamp on and screw on.

Some of these photos are from JC Whitney's catalog. There are a lot of different choices and manufacturers out there. The basic idea with these locks is to attach the lock to your bike and then lock your helmet with the "D" rings in the lock. You need to carry a key with you when you are riding.

This Kuryakyn KewLock attaches to your handlebar ends and is pretty cool. I would get two, one for each end. Not just for cosmetic reasons but to balance the handlebars.

Next comes a simple metal leash or cord that you run through the "D" rings (or chin guard) and then around some part of your bike.

There are a number of choices with this approach. Whatever works for you.(Here is a simple cable and lock setup.)

Whatever you do choose, remember, you will need to carry the lock with you when you are riding.

So if you choose a fixed helmet lock (see the clamp on and screw on types) all you have to carry is an additional key. If you chose the security cable style, you have to carry the cable and key (or combination style lock).

This Masterlock model has a 2 foot retractable cable and combination lock. Lock your helmet and maybe your jacket. No keys to worry about but you need to carry the lock with you when you are riding.

Researching this article, I came across the Bolt Lock. Interesting and at $60 it should be interesting. Clean look and depending on your bike and your style, it can look like factory.

	What's cool about this Bolt Lock setup is the cord comes in varying lengths, the short one stays with the lock and is always ready for your helmet.
	So you can replace the Bolt Lock short cord with a three footer and lock you jacket at the same time.

So what do I use? Which one of these marvelous solutions do I actually use? Well, none actually. I usually leave my helmet hanging on the handlebars and cross my fingers that it will still be there when I return. I do carry a small tool bag combo handlebar bag (12" X 18"), which attaches to the rear of my sissy bar and rests on the small fender rack. When my wife and I ride to the cinema, we squeeze both of our half-helmets into this bag and hand carry it into the cinema.

When we go to the swap meet or some other crowded event, I bring along my heavy duty locking cable which is intended to lock the motorcycle to a pole of some other handy, unmovable, item. We lace it through both helmets and occasionally, both jackets and may or may not loop it around a pole. However, after writing this, I have my security juices going again and that retractable Masterlock combination security cable is looking pretty good.

Lets focus on the traffic around you. No matter if you are on city streets or on the interstate, your safety threat are the cars next to you. You can do a lot more than just watch out for these cars, you can try to anticipate which of these card/drivers are your biggest threat.

 Like the Terminator who has a digital readout analyzing the threat potential in front, you can do the same.

Erratic Lane Changers

You see these drivers all of the time. Late for work, changing lanes back and forth, tailgating and just generally trying to push the whole traffic pack forward. After ten miles of these dangerous lane changes, they usually end up at the same traffic light as the rest of the cars who are driving safe and sane.

When you spot these folks, just like the terminator, log them in on your own personal focus radar and stay away from them. Never place yourself next to them, stay clear. And don’t forget about the other cars which may be the lane changers next victims. If the lane changer hits another car a whole chain of accident events is going to take place. Make sure that you are riding in the clear if this should happen.

Older Drivers

I hate to say this as I am getting up there in years myself but the older drivers are some of the biggest motorcycle rider threats on the road. The biggest deal is that thy tend to rely on mirrors only (if at all) and never look over their shoulder to see who is next to them.

When you spot older drivers, place a Terminator warning flag in your focus radar and stay clear.

Cell Phones

When I see a driver talking on the phone, I assume that 50% of their attention has evaporated. And it they are waving their hands around during the conversation, make that 75% attention deficit. Stay clear!

Beaters (beat up, dirty rattletraps)

I know that everyone just cannot afford a nice ride but whenever i see a vehicle that is in very poor disrepair just clunking down the road, I move them up into my focus radar.

To me, anyone who is driving a beater, has a low priority on driver safety. If they don’t care about their own personal safety, they surely don’t care about yours. Stay clear.

Drunk Drivers

I mean who knows if a driver is drunk or not but when i see someone who has difficulty staying in their lane, drifting from one side of the lane to the other, I stay away.

Conclusion

My point here is to stay focused on the traffic around you. And remember, it’s all a moving target. Things change rapidly and to ride safely, you must stay aware of these changes.

How bad do you really want to stay away, well for me it’s not unusual for me to stay over in the slow lane and let the dangerous drivers move on up ahead and out of my Terminators focus radar. In some cases, it is safer to move up and put the danger behind you.

My motto is, “They can’t hit you if your not there!”

Whatever your initial reaction, once you sense that he is dead serious (oops, bad choice of adjective), you should probably get serious about what to do with this new obsession. In this blog I will give you all of the information you need and maybe some information that your husband should know. At the very lease you will be in a position to discuss motorcycle riding from an informed point of view.

Emotional

The first thing you should ask yourself is wither or not you would like to ride a motorcycle. presumably, your better half wants you to participate on this new motorcycle and no matter if you are driving or riding as a passenger, you share the same experience.

Forget about the facts for a minute and take a look at the emotional side of riding a motorcycle. Some people do not want to ride on a motorcycle no matter what. They have had some bad experiences or maybe they are just not interested, period. If that's you, you probably should listen to your gut feelings and let you husband know that buying a motorcycle is going to be a problem.

Don't try to be understanding and to compromise because if you are dead set against having a motorcycle, getting "talked into" a motorcycle is never going to work.

However, if you are not completely against the idea of getting a motorcycle, read on and get the facts. Once you have the facts, you can make an informed decision. Or by the time you know the facts you will have already made a decision one way or the other.

There are a lot of couples out there where only the husband rides and the wife never participates. To me this is not really what riding is all about. I believe that the non-riding spouse will always be projecting their personal fears onto the other spouse and the motorcycle will ultimately be something that takes away from the relationship rather than adds to the relationship. But everyone is different and as they say, "whatever floats your boat."

Facts

Let's cut to the chase, how dangerous is riding a motorcycle? There are a lot of statistics available on motorcycle deaths and injuries. you can check the Department of Transportation or the Motorcycle Safety Foundation (or my own blog) and find out more than you ever wanted to know about motorcycle danger. Here is the short version.

Motorcycle Death and Injury Statistics

These are the raw numbers for 2007. For a meaningful view you must account for the number of drivers/riders and miles traveled.  I put riding a motorcycle at 2 to 4 times more risky than driving a car.

But for a raw look at motorcycle riding risk, this is it,  pure and simple, a motorcycle is much riskier than a car but they both have risk of injury or death. It comes down to how much risk are you willing to accept to enjoy riding a motorcycle.

Alcohol and Drugs

Does your husband drive while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? If the real answer is yes, then a motorcycle is not the kind of new toy you should have in your family. Statistically, 50% of motorcycle deaths are a result of riding while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. So, forget about a motorcycle (and you should really take some affirmative action to eliminate any driving under the influence).

Sports Bike or Cruiser?

The most dangerous motorcycle is the "Super Sports Bike" a very powerful street and road racer. The "Super Sports Bike" is the top of the line road racer in the Sports Bike category. The Sports Bike category is often called the "Ninja" or Crotch Rocket.

The safest motorcycle is the cruiser. It does not need to be a Harley, just a cruiser.

To put it into perspective, the "Super Sports Bike" is four times as likely to be involved in an accident than a cruiser.

Still with me?

OK, now that you have the facts on how dangerous it is to ride a motorcycle, here are some more facts that are not quite as upsetting.

Passenger Riding or Riding "2Up"

Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? The most common passenger comment is there is a feeling of not being in control. You go where ever the driver goes. Too fast or too slow, you are just along for the ride. To some, this can be unnerving, not being in control.

There are passenger responsibilities to pay attention to such as sitting upright and avoid leaning against the turns. You will need to keep you feet on the pegs when you are stopped at a light. You will need to avoid falling asleep at 75 mpg during a long ride.

The good news is that as a passenger, you are not always on, you are not always 100% focused on the ride. You can take a break and enjoy the ride a lot more than the driver. See the sights, smell the forest, really enjoy the ride.

Passenger Seat

Now your husband will probably want a passenger seat that is pretty small and unobtrusive and looks cool while he is riding alone. No sissy bar or at best, a small sissy bar (backrest). Pay attention to this as whatever ends up as the passenger seat will become near and dear to your backside.

The passenger seat becomes more that a "stylish" piece of leather. On a fifteen minute ride to the store, almost any passenger seat will suffice but on a longer ride, forget about style and focus in on comfort. Your backside will thank you.

Today's cruiser has a very cool seat option; actually change the seat for single or 2Up riding. Sounds complicated but there is really only one thumb screw involved, maybe 5 minutes to go from a single rider "looking cool" seat to a 2Up comfortable seat. This is usually not an option on a Sports Bike.

Helmet Hair

Yes, after riding for a few hours or maybe even just fifteen minutes, when you take off your helmet, you will have helmet hair. To most guys, this is not a big deal. In fact, it may be kind of a macho look, a kind of battle scar that lets everyone know they are out there living on the edge (or something like that).

But if you never ride in a convertible because the wind messes up you hair, you are not going to be very excited about your hair style when the helmet comes off. Or maybe, if you are looking for that $600 "just-woke-up hairstyle", a motorcycle helmet may be just what you are looking for.

More importantly than the hair issue, is the helmet itself. First of all, I believe that every rider must wear a DOT approved helmet. There are three main styles of helmets, the half helmet (top half of your head is protected), the 3/4 helmet (top and sides of your head) and the full face helmet (top, sides and face are protected).

The big news here is that only the full face helmet will protect your face when you are skidding along the asphalt. That's it, if you want to make sure to keep your face intact during a crash, you need to wear a full face helmet.

Leathers

There are fashion leathers and motorcycle leathers and the two are not interchangeable. While fashion leathers may have the motorcycle look, they fall short when you really need the protection.

However, as motorcycles have gained popularity, so have the motorcycle leather fashions. Check out the Harley clothing and see what's going on today. You will be pleasantly surprised and maybe a little shocked at the prices.

Weather

Yes, you will be out in the weather, I mean, really out in the weather. In the warm summer months, riding is a unique pleasure. The wind in your face, the smells, the overall feeling of freedom is wonderful. But it does rain and it does get cold and you are still out in the weather.

You wear the proper clothes, gloves, boots and safety gear and you are doing just fine in the weather. The changing weather adds to the adventure. You will never feel more together with your sweetie until after you have weathered the ride together.

And if You are Still with Me

Now how about the actual motorcycle riding which is what your husband is really interested in in the first place? Well, this is the fun part.

Riding a motorcycle together with your sweetie is fun. Not just going to a movie fun or having a picnic fun, but adventure fun.

I joke with my wife that she needs a destination when we go for a ride and all I need is a direction. It's true, it's all about the ride. Once you get to your destination there is almost a change in the atmosphere. The ride is over and no matter how exciting the destination may be, the ride has been suspended until you get back on to ride home.

Riding along in the wind, you have a feeling of oneness, togetherness that is hard to find in any other activity (except maybe one other). Sharing the adventure together just seems to put the color into life. And you have this available sitting out in the garage, ready to go at any time.

Now you know the facts;

• Motorcycles are more dangerous than cars but you are not automatically sentenced to death when you ride a motorcycle. In fact, safe riding can really minimize the risk.
• Alcohol and drug use while on a motorcycle dramatically increases the risk and is just plain stupid.
• Super Sports Bikes are much more dangerous than cruisers.
• Wearing leathers and experiencing weather can be a lot of fun.
• Riding a motorcycle is not for everyone but for those who ride, they only wish they had started riding earlier.

Like I said in the beginning, whatever floats your boat. Ride safe!

Technorati Tags: motorcycle, rider, basics, Harley, cruiser, biker, senior, old-timer, geezer, boomer, safety, gear, tips, mistakes, how-to

2) NO ALCOHOL, NO DRUGS, NEVER — 50% of all motorcycle fatalities are alcohol or drug related. You need all of your senses to be in full working condition when you ride. No exceptions.

3) WEAR A HELMET — When your head meets an unmovable object like a tree or a curb at 35 mph, something must give. If you are wearing a helmet, your helmet will give and you are out $100. If it is your head, well, end of story. (check out my matrix).

4) ALWAYS CHECK YOUR BIKE BEFORE YOU RIDE — Check your tire pressure. Make a visual check. Do you have gas? Are your bungee tie downs secured? Stuff happens, things change and it is too tempting to just hop on and fire it up. Two minutes spent checking can save you hours with a tow truck or an ambulance ride.

5) OUTRIDING YOUR SKILL LEVEL — New riders aren’t even sure what their skill level actually is let alone when they are out riding it. Statistically, out riding your skill level is a leading cause of solo motorcycle crashes. If you don’t know your skill level, find out and don’t find out the hard way by out riding it.

6) UNDERSTAND “GO WHERE YOU LOOK” — Is this a phenomenon or a law of physics? I don’t know and I don’t care. I just know that it is 100% absolutely the truth, your motorcycle will go where you are looking. Look ahead at the apex of a curve and you will track right there. Look at that tree on the side of the road and oh well, “Hello” tree.

7) IGNORED THE BUFFER ZONE — They can’t hit you if your not there! Stay away from cars. Don’t be ridiculous about it, but even in heavy traffic, you can always maintain some buffer zone around you.  Anticipate the soccer mom in the SUV, on a cell phone, changing lanes right into you. You know she is going to do it so keep your buffer zone and stay alive.

Technorati Tags: motorcycle, rider, basics, Harley, cruiser, biker, senior, old-timer, geezer, boomer, safety, gear, tips, mistakes, how-to

But of course it is only natural that someone who has become an icon (and survived to become a living baby boomer or older) amongst us mortals, should ride a motorcycle. But of course!Now there are a ton of celebrities out there who ride. some are avid riders and some have just a single photo of themselves on a motorcycle to verify that they are riders. I have picked a few for review and here they are in no particular order.

So, in no particular order, let's take a look at the first and most famous. Evil Knievel? Elvis Presley? Elizabeth Taylor (Malcom Forbes days)? No, no no, the first and most famous are the pair of celebrities who brought "Easy Rider" to the movie screen. Produced by Peter Fonda and directed by Dennis Hopper, they both were the lead actors in this Harley hardtail motorcycle, road, social awareness, counterculture or just plain money making movie.

Peter Fonda (born February 23, 1940) is still riding motorcycles today as last seen in Wild Hogs (2007).

Dennis Hopper (born May 17, 1936) Dennis Hopper can be seen on a pre-World War II made Indian Four motorcycle with sidecar in the movie Hell Ride (2008).

And next is one of my personal movie favorites;

Arnold Schwarzenegger. (born July 30, 1947) Today the Terminator has become the Governator in California. In 2001 Arnold broke six ribs in a MC crash. Then in 2005 he crashed again along with his 12 year old son (who was in a sidecar) and Arnold ended up getting 15 stitches.

And here's a few that surprised me.

Stephen King, (September 21, 1947) has sold 350 million copies of his books and rides a Harley. In 2007 King set out on the trek across Australia, with his Harley in tow, to complete a journey started with a close friend Joe Floyd who has since passed away.

Dan Aykroyd, (born July 1, 1952) HD A police buff, he rides an Ontario Provincial Police motorcycle, collects police badges, sometimes rides shotgun with detectives in squad cars, and owns a business in partnership with several Toronto police officers.

Antonio Banderas, (born August 10, 1960) rides a HD. Antonio and Melanie Griffin (his wife) almost share the same birthdays (August 9th and 10th). For his 40th birthday, Melanie bought him a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

Willie Nelson, (born April 20, 1933) has been seen sitting on a Harley. I may be wrong but I don't think he is still riding these days.

Some BMW folks;

Ted Koppel, (born February 8, 1940) rides a BMW.

William Shatner (born March 22, 1931) rides a Yamaha and BMW. in 2008 William Shatner discovered the perils of riding a motorcycle without any protective gear, when he crashed on a highway in California. The reckless former Star Trek star refuses to pad up and rides around the state wearing just beach clothes - even after a crash that could have killed him.

Here's some more (a partial list) motorcycle riding celebrities.

And finally,

T. E. Lawrence (born August 16, 1888 died May 19, 1035) At age 46, a few weeks after leaving the service, T. E. Lawrence was fatally injured in a motorcycle accident while piloting a Brough Superior SS100 motorcycle in Dorset, close to his cottage, Clouds Hill, near Wareham. The accident occurred because of a dip in the road that obstructed his view of two boys on their bicycles; he swerved to avoid them, lost control and was thrown over the handlebars of his motorcycle. He died six days later. The world knew T. E. Lawrence as Lawrence of Arabia, a British soldier renowned especially for his liaison role during the Arab Revolt of 1916–18. (That's his photo at the beginning of this post.)

Cool...

Well hello, here's another one of my articles which I wrote for the Aging Hipsters web site. Aging Hipsters is the place for baby boomer trends, research, comment and discussion of and by people born from 1946 - 1964. Very Cool...Check It Out!

Female names seems to be the most popular but I didn't see any Mary's or Blanche's or Cynthia's. I did see a Betsy. They always were named by male owners and they ran towards the exotic like Mona, Natasha and even Katrina. I can only guess what female bike owners would name their bikes. Maybe Antonio, Clint or Brad. Or even the more exotic Spike.

Let's move on.

I ran across a bike named "Runt" by a screen name "Road Momma" who rides a Suzuki Boulevard. There was another one named "Grunt". (If these two bikes were parked together they would be "Grunt Runt" or "Runt Grunt", groan.)

The bike's color seems to spawn some names;

• Black Betty
• Mighty Whitie (What about Tighty Whitie?)
• Pearl
• "Cherry Bud". He is Black Cherry Pearl and my best friends bike is named "Stud", so its Bud and Stud....Girly thing...

Or for the more metaphysical riders, I found;

• MONGO, conqueror of the universe!!
• Rhiannon... Celtic goddess of the moon and inspiration, the enchanting fairy princess who rode so swiftly no horseman could catch her...
• Thunderchild
• The Hell B1tch
• Mr. Breeze II

Or how about;

• "Piglet" - cause she's the smallest hawg....
• "Stupid Thing". Mostly because that is what my wife calls it. "Are you riding that Stupid Thing again??
• "Chips", like the TV show (groan again)

Or for the more hardcore or colorful bikers;

• Stinky
• Dogbreath
• Sidewinder
• Deadbeat
• Snotface
• Ratso

While most of these names are not what I would call my bike, I am sure that they are names that mean a lot to the respective bike owners.

One thing you have to watch out for is inadvertently calling your motorcycle a name which you really don't want to end up with. Just like "Betelgeuse" if you say it three times, you are stuck with it. Next thing you know your co-workers are asking you if you did anything special over the weekend and you tell them that "Yeah, me and the wife took a ride on 'The Vibrator' and had a great time." Not good.

What do I call my bike? You mean instead of motorcycle or bike as in "Come on babe, let's take a ride on the motorcycle?" Well, to be honest, after this research, I am now thinking of calling my bike "Zippy" or "Zipper".

What the hell, it's better than "Tighty Whitie".

Technorati Tags: motorcycle, rider, basics, Harley, cruiser, biker, senior, old-timer, geezer, boomer, safety, gear, tips, mistakes, how-to

Check out my article just posted on the "BoomerCafe" web site! Now in its 10th year, BoomerCafé is one of the most popular online magazine for baby boomers! So go check out my article and then browse around Boomercafe and you will be surprised at all of the neat stuff you will find there. Very interesting and unique site. Check It Out!